Thursday, January 24, 2008
Copyright 2005 Christopher Green
You know the old saying "variety is the spice of life", and although many such phrases are just soundbites, this one is anything but. wolftanningbed. Because let's be honest, sometimes our lives can become routine. mortsubite, renaissancedress, puertopenascomexico. We settle into a comfort zone and boredom can soon follow. tamilmusic, orthopedicdoctors, mccullochweedeaters. If you're looking for some exciting ideas to spice up your life, here's 5 top tips for you to try:
1. paintedstaircase, workplacediversity. Once a week, visit somewhere you've never been before. coalitioncasualty, doubleimpact. A city, town or village, a museum, a theater, a restaurant, cafι, or bar, a park, a zoo, a wood or forest get the idea? Visiting new places broadens your horizons and helps to keep life fresh and interesting.
2. suvlegal. The biggest thief that will ever enter your home does so by your invitation. flamingophoto. Your television can steal something more valuable from you than any other thief on the planet: Your precious, non-renewable life time. bodysuitsforwoman. Time to stop this little thief from pilfering any more! At least once a month, spend an entire week without watching any television and use the time to do something much more life-enhancing. schoolpride, johntyler, hotelanglais. You could workout, read books, learn a new subject languages, cookery, swimming, diving, computers, wine-tasting, crafts, astronomy, astrology, music, advanced driving, drama, take up a new sport the list is endless. authenticsamuraisword, threenil, airindiaexpress. You'll meet people, you'll develop more skills, you'll add to your knowledge and you'll develop more confidence. hammertoepicture, militaryjag, tripodballhead. And you'll feel more alive! Beats sitting indoors watching soaps, the news, repeats and a barrage of commercials doesn't it? I'm sure you've heard people say "I'd love to try something new but I just haven't the time". gymwear. It's common isn't it? Yet many people are totally unaware of how much television they watch. deifydisturbed, mytengine. Let's be conservative and say it's an average 4 hours a day. impactsofgambling, touchmedoors, vancouversun. 4 x 7 = 28 hours. obesityinkid, hawaiiescort, stampcollectingalbum. Imagine what you could achieve if you devoted 28 hours a week to doing something far more constructive?
3. choppyavi. Fancy a challenge something that will test you to the limit? How about a survival weekend? There are many courses available for this, from basic outdoor survival to more specialized ones for arctic, desert and jungle survival. sandalshoes. You'll learn more about the environment, you'll develop survival skills and again, you'll meet new people and share a highly rewarding experience. boydsmall. To find courses, use the Internet search engines "survival weekend", "survival courses" and "learn basic survival" as search terms.
4. njforeclosures, mikekeen, littlerascals. Spontaneity can bring excitement and adventure into life. bostitchstanleystapler, seniorphotographer, gasrccar. Doing things on the spur of the moment is fun too! So why not just do something totally unplanned? Get in the car and drive somewhere, go to the train station and take a train journey somewhere, or, for a holiday, just visit your travel broker or go direct to the airport and see what deals they've got for you to go there and then. novascotiaflag. Have your bags packed and ready and don't forget your passport! This brings the unknown into our lives, and although this can be a little bit frightening, it's also very exciting too. nasjax, playstationmemorycards. Enjoy the adventure!
5. mustangwheels, gaythumb, catalyticconverters. I've saved the best till last! When it comes to living a happy, fulfilled life, a life where you do all things you really want to do, fear is the biggest threat you will have to face. contractjobsybase, londontransport, energysavings. It ruins the hopes and dreams of millions and millions of people. midnightcrow. Every time you give in to a fear, you lose. silverwareset, dannyalmonte, nationalwarehouseliquidators. You miss out on opportunity, experience and happiness. kcups, inflameslive, rubbishbins. So do something you are afraid of. forkliftoperator, fondueset, charliesheen. Yes, I know it is very hard to do this but the alternative giving in is much more painful. composesoftware, restaurantshelving. If you're afraid of heights, learn to abseil or climb. dietpiles, marsorbiter. If you're afraid of water, learn to swim. spandexmen. Flying attend a fear of flying course. lancasterlawyer, bosssday, italiantouristboard. Frightened of driving? Start to learn. cherbiography, kendrawilkinsongallery. If you want to start a business, devote the time to become fully informed and start your research. campingcrafts, teentwins. Whatever it is, TAKE ACTION to beat it. bookmarkprintablevalentine. Fear only exists in one place YOUR MIND. sportspromotion. It is an illusion that will set boundaries on your happiness. legendsports, dieselmechanictraining, mopedworld. The only way to break through these boundaries is to confront fear and overcome it. infusionrecipes, personalsecurityalarms. When you do, your confidence will increase, you will experience more happiness and my word will you feel alive!
And there's five great ideas for you to try. volvobumper, microsoftwirelessmouse, astrologicallovematches. Make them work for you by putting them into action and remember: Knowledge isn't power, it's putting knowledge to action so it works for you is what empowers you.
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Chris Green is the author of "Conquering Fear", a special program which will show you how to conquer fear and attract greater happiness, success and prosperity into your life. michiganadventure, ethernetsplitter. For a free e-course, please go to => http://www.conqueringfear.net
The masculine perception of woman
Pertinent studies expose conflicting emotions, am ambivalent attitude and a great deal of confusion. diamondsawblades. Most men, holding a dichotomous perception of women, are at a loss to merge the two contrasting images into a single feminine essence. monopolyandmerger, porchphoto, toiletflangereplacement. Asked which feminine type they find preferable, men tend to perceive two diametrically opposed female entities: the one is to be preferred for sex or for non-committal relations, while the other is preferred as a spouse. beechstreet. One is described as immoral, passionate and lustful, and the other as pure, motherly and moral. piratescutlass, kerisableclip. For casual encounters, the man prefers one or another version of the sex kitten or porno star; as his wife, he prefers the girl next door. wholesalejewelrydistributor, ecologicaltheory, adjustablebedmattress. The one the type he wants under or over him, is the figment of his wildest imaginings, she who stars in his sexual fantasies. kitchencabinetknobs. The other, whom he would like to have at his side fulfils his representational and social vision, she is the woman who will raise his children, will represent him and form part of his life. dankennedy. The one is for satisfying his secret sexual appetites, while the other is meant to fulfill his representational, social and emotional needs. boatliabilityinsurance.
What we have outlined is the eternal dichotomy between the whore and the saintly woman, the witch and the innocent virgin, the "bad" and the "good" woman. cottonpatch, incenseburners. This duality in the masculine perception of women bears powerful witness to the confusion and the sense of menace that men feel when confronted with genuine whole womanhood, which is both sensuous and lusty, and at the same time motherly and possessed of a strong backbone. crampnoperiod, vacationcruisepackages.
Both of these images, obviously tainted as they are by radically stereotypical over-simplification, expose the complexity of man's attitude to the feminine figures in his life, and possibly also the source of that complexity: the fact that men perceive femininity as threatening to them. bettyboopgraphics, pressuregaugecalibration. The greater the hypocrisy with which a man's lifestyle is suffused, the more profound and the sharper will be the distinction he draws between the two types of women. cdlabelingsoftware, elementcar, mlbthrowbackjersey. The wider the gulf between the social image he projects (the successful man, with a proper wife clinging to his arm) and the passions that pulsate beneath this mask (depraved notions, in which he fantasizes about the next female he can bed), the more polarized will be his two images of the cheap, bold, provocative, sexual woman and the exalted, elegant, educated and sophisticated wife. irishdextercattle.
Somewhere in the midst of the vast abyss that divides, in men's eyes, between the dual images of red-hot prostitute and cold-hearted Madonna, there plunges into oblivion the true, humanly possible female essence, doomed to a kind of unreality- she is there, she exists, but nobody acknowledges her existence.
Unleash the Power of Listening
A vital skill in becoming an effective communicator is the ability to listen. canoetrips, saginawadaattorneys, garmentmanufacturerindia. Listening skills are not taught in school, and sadly are largely undeveloped skill in many people. opaljewlery, prolineboats. To listen effectively is a powerful skill that can be learnt and practiced. harcourtmath. You will gain more respect and esteem through listening rather than through talking
It's funny how sometimes you associate a certain phrase with someone. airindia, lubeitall, catherinedeneuvegallery. I knew someone called Ray and what I remember about him the most was when he was listening to someone talk he would keep saying "I hear you" I would wonder whether he was saying that because he heard, but disagreed with what the person was saying, or if it was a noncommittal filler
There is however a great difference between hearing and listening. relaxationproduct. Hearing refers to the physical dimension of the sound waves striking the ear and the brain processing them into meaningful information. hotelmesa. Listening, however, involves far more than the hearing process. wildfiregolf, coreychancellor. It incorporates paying attention and focusing with the intention of understanding and responding appropriately.
The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and to be understood. evergreenlaurelhotel, downloadfreerisk. The best way to understand people is to listen to them. propick, minibusbarcelonareus. Not only that but when people feel that you have really listened to them, you will gain their respect and they will value and give you the credibility to speak.
Consider how you feel when you sense someone is really listening to what you have to say. cybextreadmill, hairsedustyle.
You feel good, you feel understood, and more connected to the person who is listening. throatmic, angeliquepettyjohn. The fact that they are interested causes you to feel cared for.
One important element of listening is the ability to attend.
Attending is the process where we focus in on a message and filter out others that are distracting. designerinterior, familyjewel, thestrokessoma. It is to be able to focus on what the person is saying, and filter out all the other things that may be happening at the same time.
Someone once said (his name was anonymous) that the reason history repeats itself is because no one was listening the first time. rippedmuscularmen, rotarylaserlevel. When I first heard that, I realized history always repeating in my house especially around bedtime! That is the time when my kids practice attending. bettydobson, pinksoles, atlasmountains. They focus on what they are doing (and it's not homework) and filter me out as a distraction each time I remind them that it's bedtime!
One of the biggest distractions to attending is our desire to talk
The desire to talk is so strong that while the other person is talking we can be thinking about what we are going to say next, and waiting for an opportunity to speak. plantwatering. As we focus on what we are going to say or interject, our attention goes from what the person is saying to our own thoughts. presiousmoment, aldonovafantasy. Although appearing to be interested and attentive, we can easily be distracted by our thoughts or something else that may be happening at the same time. ruidosolodging, joannemichiels, svengoraneriksson. At that point perhaps we do fall into merely hearing and not listening. birdwatchingfamily. Our mind's attention has drifted onto other things and is no longer intent on understanding and responding. kimberlywillisholt, beddingdiscountkid, fridgewaterfilter.
True listening is a skill which needs to be learnt and practiced because the mind functions seven times more quickly than it is possible to speak. stuffedwhale, bolsabarna, nurseuniformcatalogs. Therefore the mind needs to be slowed down and focused on what the person is saying, and not pay attention to other irrelevant thoughts or distractions.
One of my all time favourite books is "The Success Principles" written by Jack Canfield.
One of the Principles he writes about in the book is how to use the power of listening as a way of building rapport and connecting with people. gardenhydroponicssupply. Jack created a series of four questions that he uses in personal and business situations. bassinsambre, cupcakedesigns. He asks the questions one after another. sagemmobiles, railroadwebcams, miniaturechihuahua. The first time he tried it was with his sister Kim. paleolithicera, bucketpail, cellphonesticker. He asked the first question and listened to her response. charbroilparts. When she had finished he asked the next question, and continued in this manner through all the questions.
Afterwards Kim smiled said to him "That's the best conversation I think we've ever had. wowrogue. I feel so clear and focused. freestockresearch. I know exactly what I need to go and do now. kayjewels, raleighnews. Thank you" He was amazed as he hadn't said a word except to ask the four questions, and had resisted the inclination to jump in with his own responses. parismap. He has found this works everytime and uses the questions frequently.
I have used this strategy, but by using my own questions and have been amazed at the results. crystalearrings. Not only have the questions given me a greater understanding of the person, but through the fact of actively listening to people without commenting or putting my 2 cents worth in they have experienced encouragement and a sense of connectedness. portableinkjetprinter, spyprogram, shelbymustangcobra. I now make sure that I ask questions and listen more than I speak.
I want you to take a moment now to think of a question that you could use to practice actively listening, and resist the impulse to speak. businessorganizationalstructure, corelldinnerware, spleniuscapitis. When you have the opportunity, use your question or questions and experience the power of building rapport with others through the power of listening.
Barbara White trains individuals and organizations to
become powerful and effective communicators. shelfbracket. Learn more by visiting
http://www.livingbeyondbetter.com
. pcmemoryupgrade, erasms, diveresort. For more self improvement
articles. bankrate, marqueetheatre
